Quote of the day

"According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can kick you yesterday."

- Ayush Sharma

Quote of the day

"Capture him if he's alive. If not, kill him."

-Anonymous

Quote of the Day

(Comedians are coming up with phrases you would use to describe someone's truck, but not their girlfriend.)

"...wow you can fit 4 in there."

-Greg Proops

Quote of the day

I couldn't come up for a quote in time today. Sorry yall.

-Alex Luong. (Does this count as a quote?)

Quote of the Day

"The original title for Aliens vs. Predator was Aliens vs. Predator vs. Chuck Norris. They changed it because they knew no one would want to watch a 14-second movie."

-Alex Vuong. (Who probably got it somewhere else)

Quote of the day

"Send some faxes!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Micromanage!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Promote Synergy!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Eat a bagel!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Hit on Debra!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Get Rejected!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Swallow Sadness!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Crash my car!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Blackout in the sewer!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Bomb the russians!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Crash into the sun!"

LIKE A BOSS

"Now im DEEEEEEEAD"

-Andy Samberg original song: Like a Boss

Quote of the day

Wow, what a late quote today hmm?

(After being beaten by a sack full of candy)

"Now, what did we learn about candy today AJ?"

"...it aint so sweet..."

- Hieu Tran & Avery Matear

Quote of the day

"Redbull.

because you can't drink a car battery."

-Anonymous

Quote of the day

"But how did-how did you find a way to CLONE me?"

"Ebay. you can find aaaanything on there..."

-Gus Sorola & Gavino Free

Quote of the day

"Yeah so i loved my father. He was a tall man and everyone would look up to him, we'd always go for walks through the park and people would say 'there goes Gort Smothers i wish he was my father'. You know my father ac-"

"Tommy, TOMMY. You're father's name, is Mort."

"...then who was that guy i was walking with..."

-Smothers Brothers

Quote of the day

"I'm not short, I'm FUN SIZE!"

-Anonymous

Quote of the day

"Suck mah snowballs"

- Eric Cartman

Quote of the day

(Coach Mac writes down "MC" on the board, which stands for "melting and cooling".)

"Uhh, Coach mac?"
"Yes, paul. what is it."
"What does MC stand for?"
"...M...C..."
"Yeah."
"...Hammer?"
"...what?"
"Its. Hammer, time."

- Coach Mac

Quote of the day

"...BABY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"

"IM GONNA CUT YOUR DICK OFF!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

-Makemebad35

Quote of the day

Well hey if im up this late, might as well get started before i forget the quote.

"Your mother is so obese, she tried to sit up, but she rocked herself to sleep."

"Your mother is so fat she works at the movies. She's one of the screens."

"That sound you're hearing is coming from your mother's bellybutton. It appears to have formed some sort of echo chamber."

--College Humor

Quote of the day

"After recieving tons of feedback, we learned that many iphone users wanted a physical keyboard instead of a touch screen. So we put in a compass...just to f*ck with you. :D"

--Jacksfilms

Quote of the day

"Mommy says i ride on the short bus because I'm special"

--T-shirt: David and Goliath inc.

Quote of the Day

"I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel!"

---Spongebob Squarepants

Quote of the day

"Boner-ific!!!"

---Anonymous Summer School Student